


S2 E16 Somebody’s Going to Emergency, Somebody’s Going to Jail

by JDPostEpisodeChallenge, SeaDog11



Series: Josh & Donna Post Episode Challenge [56]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23193913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDPostEpisodeChallenge/pseuds/JDPostEpisodeChallenge, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaDog11/pseuds/SeaDog11
Summary: Post Ep by SeaDog11
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Series: Josh & Donna Post Episode Challenge [56]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1087419
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	S2 E16 Somebody’s Going to Emergency, Somebody’s Going to Jail

I'm walking through the Communications Bullpen and I feel a jolt in my chest. I catch Donna and Sam in what appears to be a very intimate hug. 

Maybe catch isn't the right word, that implies that they are doing something wrong and they aren't. It's just that it reminds me of how Donna hugged me when she read my inscription in the The Art and Ancestry of Alpine Skiing. Does Donna hug all her friends that way? If so, that implies that she just likes me as a friend and that thought really bothers me. I always thought she hugged me like that because she likes me, but if that's the case, then that would mean she likes Sam now. The thought makes me nauseous.

They’re still hugging, and I can’t see her face. I have no indication of what she’s feeling. All I can see is Sam’s face buried in the crook of her neck, it’s the way I hold her when I get the rare opportunity to hug her, to breathe her in. Sam may be my best friend, but seeing this sends a wave of anger and hurt through my body. Doesn’t Sam know how I feel? Doesn’t Donna?

Of course she doesn’t. I've said some pretty cruel things to her in the past. I wonder why she even sticks around. She took care of me for three months when I was shot . . . and what do I do? I tell her she has no vibe, that she has terrible taste in men, and that her desire to be coupled up will always and forever drown out any small sense of self or self-worth that she may have. And even after that, she still took care of me when I was struggling at Christmas.

I can’t help the sigh that escapes me. I'm too damaged for her. She deserves more. And if there's anyone in the world I would approve of Donna dating it would be Sam. It would crush me to see it every day, but if my best friend and the love of my life were happy together, then I would step aside.  
I put on a good face when I reach Sam’s office.

“You should have seen Toby.”

“He was good?”

“He blew the doors off the place. Then I almost got killed.”

“How?” Sam and Donna ask me together.

They’re already in sync, the way her and I are. I try to hide how it makes me feel with humor, “I got hit with a piece of a banana.”

And just as I’m getting going with the story, Toby walks in, announcing that it’s time to go in a gruff voice. I don’t blame him, after the day he’s had. 

I’m giving him well deserved kudos, “You know what you are? You are old school, my friend.” My words are met with a brick wall.

“Stop talking like that. Let’s go.”

“Let me tell you something, though. That was the second time this year I almost got killed and both times I was with you so you’re going to need a new wingman.” I continue with humor, still trying to not think about Sam and Donna. They seem to be entertained by the conversation Toby and I are having.

“You were my old wingman?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go.” 

“Where are you going?” Donna asks with curiosity.

“Toby and I are going to get Sam drunk, and then put him to bed.”

“I’ll come.” I watch her as she starts to walk out of Sam’s office. I hope she doesn’t think I didn’t invite her on purpose. I thought she was having dinner with Steph tonight. I need to make sure I clear the air about that.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Donna’s getting drinks just as Sam arrives. I think he called his dad after we left his office. I know he’s angry with him, and he has every right to be, but I hope he forgives him. You only get one dad, and once they’re gone . . . I try not to think too much about it. I miss my Dad all the time.

“Hey sorry for making you guys wait.”

“It’s fine. Donna’s getting drinks.”

Sam confirms my guess as to why he’s late. “She encouraged me to call my Dad, that’s what I was doing. I’m still pissed, but I’m glad I called.”

I can’t help but wonder, has Sam been confiding in Donna this whole time about his Dad? Is that what made them grow closer? Maybe they grew closer during my recovery . . . Maybe they had turned to each other. I really missed my chance. I should have told Donna how I felt a long time ago. Now it’s too late and she has feelings for Sam . . . I just know it.

I shove my feelings down and respond to Sam, “That’s great that you called him. Hopefully you can patch things up when you’re ready.”

I see Donna walking back. Toby’s at the head of the table, so she has a choice to sit next to either me or Sam.

“I’ll let you and Donna sit together . . .” I give up. I’m going to have to see the two of them together eventually, so I might as well just try and start dealing with it now. Sam just looks at me with a questioning eye.

“Josh, she’s going to want to sit next to you.”

“I don’t know about that . . .”

“Why? Did you say something to upset her?”

“No.”

“Okay. Donna always sits next to you, Josh.”

“Well she might prefer sitting next to you now . . .” I let that linger in the air for a moment, giving Sam a clue that I know what’s going on. He just looks at me like I just said the craziest thing he’s ever heard.

“If there is anyone Donna Moss wants to sit next to, it's you, Josh. Believe me.” I take what Sam says as a grain of salt. He’s just not ready to tell me what’s going on. That’s fine. But I am surprised when Donna comes back and automatically takes a seat next to me.

“See buddy.”

I give Sam a hint of a smile. Donna probably isn’t ready to tell me what’s going on with her and Sam either, so she’s just keeping up appearances by sitting next to me.

I don’t really say much as the three of them talk at length about God knows what. I’m lost in my own thoughts. I do take comfort in the fact that Donna is sharing a beer with me. Maybe some things won’t change. Maybe I will just have to hold on to these little moments, like sharing a beer or bantering down the hall.

Her soft touch on my arm brings me back from my thoughts. And now she's looking at me, she's looking at me like she can see past my facade and into my soul. Now she's giving me that soft, reassuring smile of hers, the one that lets me know everything is going to be okay. I saw it a thousand times when I was recovering from Rosslyn, and again at Christmas time. Now she's taking another sip of our shared Sam Adams, and I can't help but watch her. I cannot lose this woman, but I think I may have already lost her to my best friend. How did I miss this? How did I not see it coming?

“Are you okay?” She asks me quietly.

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Because you’re quiet.”

“I can be quiet Donna. It’s not a big deal.” My words are said a bit harsher than I intended. I see a flash of pain go through her eyes. Damnit. I soften my voice and give her my dimples, letting her know I didn’t mean to snap at her. “Umm, I didn’t want you to think I didn’t invite you tonight. I just thought you were having dinner with Steph.”

“It’s okay Josh. I know that.”

“Yeah?” I ask, just to make sure.

“Yeah of course.”

o0o0o0o0o0o

Toby just got into a cab with a very inebriated Sam, leaving Donna and I by ourselves outside the Hawk ‘n’ Dove.

"Come on Josh, let's walk home. After all, you have a sensitive system."

Her voice relaxes me. She's trying to banter, to lighten the situation, she really does understand me, she knows I respond well to that. A thrill goes through my body, she wants to walk home with me. Maybe she doesn’t want the night to end either.

"I do not, Donna!"

"Well, prove it to me on the way back to your apartment."

We start walking and it can't be any more than 40 degrees out, I hope she's not cold . . . She has her pink scarf and peacoat, but is that enough? Maybe I should give her my scarf? I didn't see her put gloves on. Are her hands cold? She has them tucked into her pockets. Maybe when we get back to my place, I’ll drive her home myself instead of getting her a cab. I want to spend as much time with her outside of work as I can, even if all we will ever be is just friends.

I'm still not sure what to say. I need her more than anything, and I can’t tell her. She has feelings for Sam, and me pouring my heart out wouldn't be fair to her. I hate that I missed my chance, I let it slip by. I had years to tell her and I blew it. I feel her arm loop through mine, it feels good. It always has. Oh good she's wearing gloves . . . I would have offered her mine if she didn’t have any.

"Josh, let's talk."

"K."

"It's not what you think . . ."

"Huh?"

"Sam and I, it's . . . it's not what you think."

"I didn't think anything Donna." That's a total lie and she knows that.

"Josh . . ."

"Mmmm?" I keep walking, God I just can't look her in the eyes right now, it will be my undoing.

"Josh, look at me."

God, how does she know what I'm thinking? I stop and turn, but I look at my feet, scuffing them against the old, grimey snow.

"Joshua . . . Okay, don't look at me, but you need to hear me. Sam is sweet . . ." Oh great here we go, let's talk about all the ways Sam is wonderful.  
"He's smart, he's funny, he's idealistic, he's charismatic, he's patient, but he's not . . ." She trails off and I have no idea what she's going to say, so I meet her eyes with mine and the look on her face tells me she's struggling, so I'll help her out.

"Sam's not what Donna?"

"Sam is all those things, but he's NOT Josh Lyman . . ." She says it timidly. She's just as unsure about things as I am, but I can't help the smile that comes to my face when I realize what she's saying. She's still looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers and I can't help what happens next.

I lean in and kiss her.

The kiss isn’t light or searching. It’s the kind of kiss you give someone when you know with every fiber of your being that you are without a doubt, meant to be together. I feel her respond: her lips are soft, and despite the cold, she’s heating my body up in a way I can’t put into words. I feel her fingers thread through my hair and I cannot help the slight moan that comes from deep inside me. She’s making me dizzy, she’s making my lips tingle, and she’s making my heart pound. I pull her closer as my hands wander from her hips to her long, silky blond hair. I’ve dreamed about running my hands through it more times than I care to admit, but the reality is far better than anything my imagination could conjure up, and I’m a pretty creative guy when it comes to thinking about kissing Donna Moss. I’m vaguely aware that people are walking by, but I don’t care who sees us.

It takes all of my energy to break away from our first kiss. I’ve always been so bad at this kind of thing. I usually don’t know what to say or how to say it. But right here, with Donna, I know exactly what I want to say and how to say it. I need her to know how I feel.

“I love you.” The words tumble out of my mouth, as if I had been saying them for years. My eyes search hers, they’re shining, and I’m sure mine are shining too.

“I love you, Josh. I love you just the way you are.”  
And now she’s giving me that smile, the one that’s only reserved for me. I swear, my heart is going to beat out of my chest.

We’ll figure out the professional logistics later. 

Right now I’m just going to keep kissing her with a promise of what's to come.


End file.
